Oh my ardent readers and dear amigos, I have an important announcement to make. I know that I have already got your tummies tickling. You might all be guessing what possibly can a drab person like yours truly possibly offer? Let me tell you that I won’t promise much this time around as I have become egregiously notorious for under-delivering. What I must tell you is that I had been planning to defect. The plan had been in place since a long time and all I needed was an opportune moment, a chance to set myself free of the fetters that had got me entangled for seventy vicious weeks. It was like being trapped in an abyss, except that it was much more excruciating mentally than physically.
I must confess that the opportunity finally presented itself sometime back and I latched on to it without wasting a moment. The ordeal is finally over and I have finally broken free of the serpentine shackles. I have finally washed my hands of the nuisance that I had so gullibly attached myself to a couple of years back. You might call me a shameless renegade or a hapless victim of apostasy, but I must asseverate that selfism is a virtue of the highest order: it’s impossible to cater to the needs of the world without having the courage to cater to one’s own. Yes, I have left it for something better; at least to me it appears so. No, I am not hallucinating, not anymore. I feel vindicated, being finally absolved of sins after months of penance.
Beggars can’t be choosers, but does that mean that don’t deserve a chance to live with some respect? My self-respect has been mortified by months of relentless flogging, and even though the castigation was too overwhelming, it couldn’t make me sell my soul to the devil. It did make me transgress, but not beyond the point of no return. In fact, my tryst with the dark side existed only ephemerally: it ended before it actually started. It wasn’t my yearning for something better but my desire for a thinking lease—a sort of intellectual space where I could reinvigorate my moribund senses—that made it possible.
Driven by my ulterior motive, I have learnt to settle for less than for what is desired. I wanted to pursue a course in Mass Communications, but a course in Management from an institute renowned for its engineering has to suffice. They say that it is the end that defines the means, but since the end is yet to reveal itself, I must try to make the best use of this lease of thinking vouchsafed by the fate. I must undergo a prolonged phase of self-realization in order to regain my lost fervor. It’s in human nature to rise after a fall, but the difficult part is to continue fighting till the very last breath.
It’s generally difficult to take an unconventional decision owning to the enormous peer pressure, but when thinking appears as futile as a lost cause, the nature of decision doesn’t actually matter. After having spent more than two decades of my life following the false virtues and foolish beliefs of the society, I have learnt that the fate can’t be maneuvered though a feeble intellect. It takes courage of gigantic proportions to occlude fancies of the deceptive mind and completely follow one’s heart. Now that I have deliberately taken this leap of faith, I just hope, at least for once, the rub of the green would go my way.