DSM Memories: Confessions of a Critic


Two years back yours truly had started a magical journey with five dozen other strangers and today it seems to be nearing its culmination point. But, those five dozen or so strangers are no longer strangers. In these two years, all of us have touched each other’s life in such an intimate manner that we all have got connected by an eternal bond of friendship. We have seen so many ups and downs together that we have succeeded in overcoming the constant fear the failure. It is said that every good thing must come to an end. But, then so can be said of all things, whether good or bad. But, when a thing ends it tends to impact all the stakeholders. Sometimes, the change can be for worse but often it’s for the better. An end can pave the way for so many beginnings. Here it’s essential to quote a line from Salman Rushdie’s renowned novel, Shalimar the Clown: “It was the first day of something. It was the last day of something else.” That’s precisely what yours truly had quoted last year when our senior batch passed out of our beloved DSM. And the sands of time have made it inevitable that these lines become relevant for our batch as well. Yesterday’s farewell party hosted by our able junior batch made yours truly really emotional. After all, our dear juniors bestowed yours truly with the honorary title of “CRITIQUE”—now since yours truly doesn’t really want to question their unconditional adoration yours truly makes believe that the title that they actually wanted to give him was that of a “CRITIC” and not “CRITIQUE” which used to be a routine Finance assignment during the first year.

Now, yours truly just doesn’t what to rub salt to the wound by sharing with you that the beautiful mug that was presented as a memento was also unceremoniously taken back, for it had the wrong name printed on it. Well, these small things do happen. After all, BADE BADE FUNCTIONOH MEIN CHOTEE CHOTEE BAATEIN TOH HOTI HI REHTEIN HAIN! Let’s not for one second take the credit away from our juniors. They did put up a hell of a show keeping up with the usual high standards set by Mr. PROBLEM SOLVER himself. The newly crowned Mr. DSM would be a proud man! But, we will come to that later. Needless to say, the function far exceeded our expectations.  Take, for example, the case of anchors. When everyone was expecting about 4 to 6 anchors at max, our juniors gave us at least a dozen anchors of them—Yours truly simple salute the talent that our junior batch possesses. Your truly is certain that the newly crowned Miss DSM must have been instrumental to this discovery of the abundance of talent within DSM.

Today, yours truly has a confession to make. And it’s not often that he gets emotional but sometimes it’s really difficult to maintain the composure. And last night was one such occasion. Even though not many actually spilled tears (except for a certain Mr. DISCIPLINE, or whatever his title was, who even confessed about his emotional state), most of us did leave the place with a heavy heart. Speaking of confessions, yours truly must acknowledge that he had never ever seen so many pretty faces under the one same roof at DTU before. Where were these beauties hiding all these days? After all, it just can’t be the magic of makeup alone? Oh come on, now! Your truly too can crack a joke or two sometimes regardless of his notorious reputation of being a bore. No offence, girls… you all simply rocked! A certain gentleman, who a couple of years back, was crowned Mr. FRESHER at DTU too had something to confess to someone special. Though, he opted for a very secretive way of making his confession public, thus defeating the very purpose of it. However, your truly still hopes that the message would have got delivered to that someone special sitting in the crowd.

Kudos to the Junior Batch for putting up such an amazing show! Take the case of DJ which was simply awesome. Yours truly wishes he could say that the list is endless. But, DJ is pretty much what comes to the mind when yours truly tries to think of pluses of the “Magical Evening”. Just Kidding, Guys n Girls! Your truly is just trying to be true to his title of a “CRITIQUE” oops “CRITIC”. See, how difficult it really is not to criticize things when you have been bestowed with the honorary title of a “CRITIC”… so what, if it spells like “CRITIQUE”!!! On a serious note, we all had a ball! It indeed was an exhilarating evening. Everyone was simply awesome: be it “The Singers”, “The Dancers”, or “The Anchors”. Let’s hope that one day we will be able to take off those quotes. Why so serious? DHOOM PICHAK DHOOM was clearly the highlight of the event. But, so were the dance performances of Mr. GOOD and Mr. DIFFERENT. Make no mistake that a certain tall guy who preferred pushups to dancing wasn’t lagging behind by much. And who can forget the scintillating performances of Miss BEAUTIFUL SMILE, Miss DSM, Miss ANGELIC, and a bunch of other damsels.  So what if one of them was actually trying to imitate Chris Gayle by repeatedly target practicing at the hapless audience members while performing her deadly dance! And yours truly’s utmost respect for one Miss BUBBLY, lest she gets grumpy.

A certain guy who deserves a special mention is DSM ‘s very own Mr. HR. Well, what can one actually say about him? He is a fabulous fabulous dancer. Your truly who is a horrendous dancer himself is a great fan of his dancing abilities. And your truly is sure that a certain Mr. PHILANTHROPIST, who is yet to come to terms with the relevance of his title, would be able to vouch for it.  The first time yours truly had the pleasure of watching him dance was at the Teacher’s Day function at DSM in the Summer of 2011. On that occasion he had performed an electrifying rendition of “Hamma Hamma”. And then came the last night, after a gap of almost two years, where he was once again simple unstoppable on the dance floor. Yours truly is just clueless about two things. First, why he didn’t compete for the title Mr. DSM, especially when one of the important criteria was dancing? Second. Why he is the only guy in the Batch of 2013 to have opted for HR? Anyway, enough of levity! Now, let’s talk about some real serious people of our batch. Yours truly wants to talk about a certain effervescent group of dashing dudes in particular. Almost everyone who can call himself witty is a part of this nexus. BANTER is their bread and butter, FUN is their second name. Yours truly, like all his fellow classmates, both loves and envies them. Trust me, the Batch of 2013 wouldn’t have been the same without these funlovin fiends. YOU GUYS SIMPLY ROCK!!!  See, your truly can sometimes cease to be a “CRITIQUE” and unleash his praise on those worthy of it.

Yours truly has always been a great admirer of another bunch of mavericks. To give you a hint, Mr. ENTREPRENEUR and Mr. OUTSPOKEN are an integral part of it. Another enviable gang, in yours truly’s opinion, is Mr. PRAGMATICs. The camaraderie that you guys demonstrate is really inspiring. Your truly thinks Miss BRANDED’s gang is by far the most balanced of the lot. It’s a nice mix of caution and aggression. Recently crowned Miss BRANDED, a self-confessed shopaholic, also happens to be a fabulous cook. The Pav Bhaji that this gourmet prepares is a hot favorite among the Batch of 2013. Even since he put off his “CRITIQUE” cap—trust me the spelling doesn’t make much of a difference… only the feeling do—yours truly has been in a laudatory mood. Without any further ado, let yours truly also offer his gratitude to Mr. PRESIDENT, Mr. REVOLUTIONARY, and Mr. PROFESSOR. Yours truly actually wants to thank each and every classmate of his for their love and support, but it’s just that he is not able to remember all the titles. Not to mention, how frightened yours truly is of Mr. CONFIDENTIAL and his team. Then is there a certain Mr. HELPFUL (or whatever his title was… just to give you the hint, he also happens to be cutest guy in our batch) who was simply Dressed to Kill for the last night’s event.  Again, a certain Mr. PHILANTHROPIST, who has been a true friend-cum-philosopher-cum-guide for yours truly, would be able to vouch for it.

Time for yours to to put his “CRITIQUE” cap on. Your truly is now certain that it would have been a typo. There can be no other reason to justify this blunder. But, what about the wrong name printed on the mug? You see, it’s difficult to focus on the positives with this atrocious “CRITIQUE” cap on. But, yours truly is still trying his best. As promised earlier, it’s time to get the focus back on the newly crowned Mr. DSM. The credit for hosting such an awesome Farewell Party must go to our junior batch. But, Mr. PROBLEM SOLVER too deserves a pat on his back for leading the juniors so emphatically. Wait, did yours truly actually say that the junior batch must share this overwhelming praise that’s being showered upon them with their senior, Mr. PROBLEM SOLVER who also happens to be the newly crowned Mr. DSM? Well, to be frank there’s nothing wrong in sharing the praise. And who better than Mr. PROBLEM SOLVER himself to understand that? After all, he has always led from the front, setting examples for others in the process! He’s not bestowed with the prestigious title of the Mr. PROBLEM SOLVER for no reason. Your truly is certain that Mr. GOOD would second that and so would Miss. BEAUTIFUL SMILE. Now, that Mr. Problem Solver gets a share of the praise for grooming our juniors so immaculately, does it also mean that he should be partly blamed for misspelling the name on yours truly’s mug and for the malapropism of using the word “CRITIQUE” for “CRITIC”. Yours truly believes that it would be a bit too harsh. However, it does prove one thing that the juniors still have a lot to learn from Mr. PROBLEM SOLVER.  Yours truly is sure that all the glitches will be ironed out once Mr. PROBLEM SOLVER, who is also the newly crowned Mr. DSM, also gets elected as Mr. PRESIDENT of DSM’s to be formulated ALUMNI BODY. Yours truly knows for certain that it is not at all a wishful thinking, for Mr. PROBLEM SOLVER is also the man with the Midas touch (yours truly had predicted long back that Mr. PROBLEM SOLVER would be crowned as MR. DSM during the Farewell Party… EVEN IF HE WILL NOT COME DRESSED AS PER THE THEME OF THE EVENT). Yours truly thinks that’s enough marketing for one day. If someone wants more publicity, then he/she better pay Mr. CRITIQUE oops Mr. CRITIC for it. It would indeed be money well spent.

Yours truly had written an article titled “My FIRST DAY AT DSM” which got published in DTU Times and it’s only fitting that this article sums up the two great years that all of us spent together. Yours truly would like to sum it up by congratulating the newly crowned Miss DSM and Mr. DSM. Thoroughly deserving winners! Though, yours truly wishes that starting next year the judging parameters for selection would be more diverse i.e. not merely limited to dance, singing, etc. so that the competition is stiffer and the results are not so obvious… the luck factor must come into the equation. And the future organizers should at least ensure that the all the contenders are dressed as per the theme of the night. Now, please stop raising your eyebrows, Guys n girls… Remember, yours truly still has that “CRITIQUE” cap on! Last but not the least, yours truly would also like to wish all his classmates and the juniors best of luck for the examinations. Guys n Girls, the two years may have ended but the journey has just begun! Wish you luck for all your future endeavors!


About A Potpourri of Vestiges

Murtaza Ali is an independent film critic, sports writer, and content developer based out of Delhi. He is the author of the movie blog ‘A Potpourri of Vestiges’. He has been writing movie reviews at IMDb.COM for over four years. He is also associated with F1India.ORG as a content editor. Cinema is not only his passion, but also his greatest obsession. His all-time favorite movie-makers are Akira Kurosawa, Stanley Kubrick, Luis Bunuel, Andrei Tarkovsky, Charles Chaplin, Orson Welles, Federico Fellini, Ingmar Bergman, Satyajit Ray, Fritz Lang, Sergio Leonne, Francis Ford Cuppola, and Martin Scorsese.
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3 Responses to DSM Memories: Confessions of a Critic

  1. nikhil Raman says:

    this is really good…you are not just a writer but a great predictor and psychologist as well. i am amazed by the was you connected all events of last night and the way you have written them shows the range of your writing. it is witty, humorous sarcastic but sensible touching and deep at the same time. here i see the signs of a great future writer. i am certain that one day you will surely achieve success.

  2. InnerDialect says:

    Love the way you write – sure inspires :)) i cannot imagine being a critic, and have always shied away from them ,. but come across with wit and grace – thanx for this share

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